ART AND BEER FESTIVAL

Yesterday I spent the whole morning in bed, well in bed on the net in my room. Nothing conny about it, I was watching and reading KONY2012 related documents and documentaries. Well, that CONNY and KONY vibe is from some guys trying to get famous by defaming a proud dad by the name Jason Russell aka Baba Gavin. What I mean is, the word conny does not rhyme with te word Kony. The first is an English world, the second is an Afrikan name meaning help,and its not pronounced like conny, its just kony!!

What the heaven was that about?

                                                 Me and Justine at Art and Beer Festival

Anyway, after all that I decided to go for Art and Beer Festival. In my mind I knew that such a big sounding event at a nice place in the leafy suburbs where drivers are forced to ´DRIVE SLOWLY because HORSES HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY´, and the season ticket going for two thousand bob, there had to be at least a complimentary mug of beer because my friends The Big 5 Breweries were also sponsoring.

Shock on me, nearing the gate there was a really drunk young man literally crying as he asked the arriving drivers to pass fast so he could leave the parking; I just hope he hd a designated driver. And I digress. Anyway, there was a uniformed and nosey security guy who insisted on speaking to me in English despite my multiple atempts to speak in Sawahili. He inspected my bag, asked for my ticket, then was still trying to see what was in my bag as I paid, mind yo own bizness maa…ffffriend! I get into the venue and there are no people. A few white folks are the the beer tent, no one at the food tent, the music is playing but there is no dj! So I decide to check out the exhibitions and I don’t see anything ineresting. There was a tattoo shop selling some gothic jewellery from China. I was gonna walk into more tents but I realised all those bored exhibitors were all looking at me as if I was an exhibition myself. But I understand, they lacked something to do, and I hated it! So I decided to go back to Club Volar for a nice cold drink…then I saw this guy wearing golden shinny tights like LMFAO in that video of theirs! You could almost see his balls, and I thought, wow,you need balls to show your balls in public like that.

 

Cranium Ink showing what they got

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to CRANIUM INK. This is a new name in Kenyan art scene doing really cool photography and designs. Its whats going to take Kenya there after BlackBird Jeans. CRANIUM INK is made up of a duo, a really cool duo and a really hot PR Manager that I first met some 3years ago when I had crushed her brothers graduation party.

                                                   Some of the CRANIUM INK designs

 

Darkness came fast and engulfed the whole place and slowly people started trickling in. There was a wannabe dj keeping it down by now and the place started looking like a party, you know wha im sayin´? Me and my people were now having drinks when some guy came on stage and introduced some guys called WASHAMBA WENZA. Kusema kweli mahakama, these three guys are really good rappers. Wearing brown side pocket shorts, they looked cool. Cooler than the Naijjo brother who was wearing Capri pants! The only crime and the only thing that related to their name was this…holding their crouches as they walked across the stage. That thing is too thousand and dead, I mean,which rappers still do that? If you ask me that is shaggs not swagg, Washamba Wenza!

                                          Washamba Wenza holding it down, literally!

 

The people here were getting boring despite the dj´s effort to keep people on their feet. So me and my entourage of very beautiful ladies decided to bring it down. We danced until we got stitches then bowed out after a very good dancehall performance from some guy from Athi River.

I even had a solo

We did some moon walk too

 On my way to the gate, I saw these people minding their business and I thought id share.

Then there were these cars, among others but I only captured what I liked.

And this house that you can tell me what you think about

                                                        Then i went to another party!

KENYANS ARE RACISTS AND INFERIOR

IF YOU WANT TO GET FAST AND FIRST SERVICE ANYWHERE IN KENYA, POTRAY YOURSELF AS RICH AND MORE POWERFUL.  That’s a rule that even the most defiant folks in Kenya know,especially in the larger towns. It’s a battle ground and people fight both physically and mentaly because the law is a pyramid that applies less only to the few and powerful on the top and more to the many and weak on the bottom. Thats the unwritten interpretation and only rebels like me don’t give a dung about it and would show the middle toe to anyone that bows to such.

Take the following examples of my personal stories that im sure you have your own versions of, or have heard from someone else.

Being a citizen of the world, I consider myself a good neigbour by having friends from all parts of the world. I welcome them home and take them to see my beatiful country. My friends come from all walks of life. So I take them to all manner of places: From places of worship to brothels. Cheap ones in River Road to extravagant ones in leafy subarbs. So this one night, I wanted to thrill my friends by doing what young Nairobians do-CLUB HOPPING. So after SkyLux, we went to Changes then to Rezorus where the bouncers pushed me down the staircase because I was only 21 when the permitted age limit was 24. They told me to pave way for customers, who were actually my mzungu friends lining behind me. Realising that I was leaving with them, the bouncers came begging me to just get in, I called them bloody f****n racists and took my guests to Havannah!

Another incident was at BREW BISTROW . This partucular night, my enturage comprrised a 17 year old white girl and her older relatives. The bouncer let her in, but said I was too young to get in, realising I was with them, I was let in, in a huff. We left soon after and the Bavarians didn’t like the incident just like the beer.

Yesterday I decided to take some friends up to the helipad on top of the KICC. We had passed by Tuskeys and one of my friends had bought a knife, a decent sized shinny knife with black plastic handle. The security guys with their metal detectors didn’t detect anyting metalic or dangerous in her bag. We proceeded to the main entrance to the second tallest building in the country that also hosts a whole ministerial office. At the door, there was one of those huge security machines that swallows your bag then vommits it again on the other side. My mzungu friend put her bag with the knife and it got safely swallowed and she picked it on the other side. I put mine wich had just clothes, drumsticks, a shaker and a harmonica and it went through without making any of that irritating noise it makes. However; the mean BM SECURITY LADY insisted on manually inspecting my bag again, just because im Kenya! I complied and she stirred my belongings in the bag as the mzungu ladies waited for me. She finished and we took the knife with us past a few other security checks to the top of the city! So next time you hear that a bomb was planted or a businessman shot at the Intercontinental lobby from the top of KICC, just know that a non black person safely and unsuspectedly took the gun there as the security personel watched.

In January, I was in Lake Nakuru National Park and I decided to stop for a cold drink at Lake Nakuru Lodge. It was lunch time when I got there and I was walking behind some French speaking black guys. As they got into the buffet area, there was a man chanting jambo! Jambo! to everyone that came in. As he said jambo to me, I said jambo sana, mambo vipi? Believe me you, I was pulled aside and asked for my room number! I protested and ended up cudddliing my cold bottle at the pool with an an old Chinese couple.

When I turned 18, I wanted an ID and the nearest place of application was the District Comissioner´s office in Kibera. Aware of the long qeues and being so streetwise, I decided to go on the first of January when people are still cleaning their holiday mess. But even on that day, I got quite a crowd. The crowd comprised some of middle class citizens with cars and so feel like the poor folks are after their blood; they drove their very young adult children to apply for their Ids. Then there were humble folks that had lost theirs on drinking sprees or mugging attacks, then there were people like me, young independent citizens that wanted to get a hold of that thing and face the world! I think you already know what happened but I will tell you either way. The driving guys got served almost entirely first and swiftly, followed by me probably because I didn’t look like I came from the slums around there, and maybe because I had spoken English to the receptionist seated under a tree.

Its not right that we are racists and its extremely sad that we are discriminating against our own. We must learn to see ourselves as equal, or even better than them in order gain respect and even to succeed. I know some people mistreat locals trying to impress the foreigners because they think that that way they attract something nice. The truth is, you attract shame on yourself and your country and you repel that same gift you think you are attracting.

And to those rude security guys who ravage through my bags, better learn how to use those machines now because im devicing a disciplinary machine that will splash some acid in your shameless eyes and you will not see for some time if not for the rest of your lives.

IM OUT!

KONY 2012 MY FOOT!

I call it my foot because I got two of them, a right one and a left one.
This film spreading faster than bush fire and faster than Kony combined is just like that, and I will tell you why.

The film was made by a guy called Jason Russell who graduated from El Cajon's Valhalla High and the film school at the University of Southern California in 2002. He first came to Kenya in 2002 where and when he got his so called transformation (maybe to hate).








The film starts with a very good introduction that does not relate with the film´s title, followed by Jason showing off his son Gavin to the world. Its good to be proud of what you have, so congratulations Jason for having such a bouncing baby boy. The boy grows fast and he is smart as its evident from the correct answers he gives when asked questions. He also makes movies! The first mistake Jason does is referring to Uganda as being in central Africa. Dude, Mr. Save The Children in Africa, who taught you geography? Uganda is in East Africa together with Kenya and Tanzania, ok?

The film is about the war for  freedom that has been going on in Uganda since the chosen ones brought us bullets hidden within the pages of the bible. Those who care know that Uganda, just like all African countries fought and is still fighting for freedom today. And just like all those other countries, within the true citizens there are always those working for the enemy. In Kenya we had the likes of Nabongo Mumia and Lenana who were made paramount chiefs as rewards for helping the colonial masters brutalise the native people. These type of people are still in our midst and some of them have risen to prominent positions of heading their countries.

To hit the nail on the head, Uganda has a history of deposing its leaders for selfish reasons. The current president came to power after a series of battles that saw him overthrow a tyrant that had also deposed another…and the list goes back 6 steps each one with a deposed president! The current leader has brought the country to very reasonable stability but has a lot of traces of the old tyrants that came before him. He for instance banned all other political parties only until 2005. That’s when some of the political exiles like Dr. Kizza Besigye came back home. Noticing that he was bound for retirement, the incumbent president changed the constitution to allow him continue in active politics and has remained president since January 26th 1986 to date.

Back to the film, Jason only talks about Joseph Kony and he doesn’t say anything about The Lord´s Resistance Army (LRA). He only says how bad Kony is and how he makes children kill their mothers. Jason is inciting white ignorant kids to believe that Africa is nothing but a huge jungle of war, hell n earth! He is filling his own son with hate, telling him that Kony is the bad guy. The film does not talk about the formation of the LRA and what its about. This is because he (Jason Russell) probably has no clue and secondly because he is a selfish filmaker trying to ``make a better life`` for his son and he is spreading hate to do it.

It’s a good thing to fight for rights and save souls but whats the plan after that? Why cant Jason make homes for thousands of homeless children in the streets before going to comb Congo forest for Kony? Further more, all the politicians interviewed in the film are supporters of the current regime. They are talking of justice when there has never been justice in Uganda, as a matter of fact, having only one party speak about a national concern is injustice in iteslf! I think Jason Russell is  being used, or rather using himself as an instrument of spreading hate. If you ask me, Jason Russell is committing exactly the same crime as Joesph Kony by engaging his son in the fight against Kony!

As we speak, the US army is already on the ground, hunting for Kony, to kill him. So I can tell the people of America that their taxes are already doing something. So there is no need of anyone giving their hard earned money to any organisations to do what the US government is already doing. They already killed Osama and Gaddafi without wasting resources and promoting global warming by making posters and all manner of hooliganism, so all that KONY 2012 hoopla is non sense.

In my opinion, Joseph Kony together with Kizza Besigye are the last of a dying breed. The very last of true freedom fighters. Im my eyes they are heroes who are facing the giant alone because no one else would join them because of religion that has turned the people of Uganda into a toothless lion and the fear of the consequences.

AND THAT’S HOW THE ROCKTOPUS SEES IT.

WHITNEY HOUSTON WAS PERFECT

Get outta bed around nine

An I don’t worry about nothin’ no

Cause worryin’s a waste of my, time’

Those are the first words of the song ‘Mr. Brownstone’ by Guns ‘n’ Roses. It was written about heroin
addiction. These words can sometime describe me because I wake up early, reach out for my phone
then browse for the next 1-3 hours before I get out of bed. Usually, I check my email and inboxes
then notifications followed by replying to tweets from my friends in the Diaspora who tweet when
I’m sleeping. That’s followed by reading some news then the whole thing ends with updating my
status and tweeting. But last Sunday was different, I woke up and went directly to my bookmarks and
pressed the news button. WHITNEY HOUSTON DIES AT 48.

I won’t lie; I was shocked and got up immediately. I first knew about Whitney after hearing “On My
Own” on radio some 9 years ago, or so. Then I became a fan. I didn’t believe how she managed to
sing like that! I followed her closely and always sympathized with her when it came to divorce and
substance abuse. I didn’t understand why she didn’t sing anymore but I used some of her lyrics in
love letters to girls when infatuation was running me like a marathon back in high school. When
she divorced in 2007, I was devastated, and then I was excited when she got up and attempted a
comeback in 2010.

Whitney put herself together and launched her come back on TV besides Oprah whom some 90’s kids
confused with Whitney. Can you believe some people posted Oprah’s pictures with the words ‘RIP
WHITNEY’ on facebook!? Anyway, she toured Europe and things didn’t go so well when she was not
able to sing like the Whitney of 20 years before. People actually walked out in the middle of the show
after she did a different version of “I Will Always Love You”. That was Brisbane in Australia. People
made so much noise about it, not considering what she had been through.

We live in a very harsh world. A world that motivates you when you are up, running and almost
ahead of it. But that same world will step and trample on you as soon as you trip even a little. When
Whitney was young and fresh from the church choirs where the good Lord had nurtured her, the
world adored her. She made international hits and everyone hailed her. When she got married
and things didn’t go so well, the same people that had built strongholds of praise and high regards
around her stripped her naked, telling the world of her marriage on the rocks, drugs and all other
weaknesses. This went on for the rest of her life.

I’m sure Whitney Houston at some point used drugs as a weapon against the harsh world that
suddenly surrounded her. She was a strong woman who probably fought more internal wars than
most of us. She used the drugs as a weapon in the war against the realities of the cruel world. Then it

turned out that the drugs were also an enemy that she had to fight. It’s very sad that the world that
had helped her into these situations never helped her out, but turned against her instead. She dealt
with failed marriage, drug addiction, loss of career, public image and definitely more. Many times
she went into rehab and even tried to tour again. She actually died in a hotel room where she was to
stay before singing at a pre Grammy party. That shows that she was willing and wanted to get back to
whom she used to be.

She fought and ran till the end of her race. The world was not nice to her until she died, then
suddenly, everyone is praising her. Nice words come from left, right and center. And that’s how we
are. We condemn, judge, demonize and don’t see anything good about people until they leave for
good. I think if Whitney had had the world encourage her to do her thing, however bad it sounded
from 3o years ago, she would still be alive. Imagine the impact it had on her fragile, fighting will when
those people walked out on her in Brisbane after travelling all the way from America to show them
that she was still willing to do it. Imagine how she felt every time she read about her fall and loss of
everything. If they did all that to her, what makes you think she wants to listen to you praise her even
if she was the best? Thank God she’s dead because you won’t get a smile from her for your filthy lies.

Have you ever asked yourself why Whitney never got married again after her divorce or was never in
sex scandals like many other celebrities? I believe it’s because she had a goal she was aiming at. But
we were never in her team to help her score it. We attacked and jeered instead. Now some people
are blaming Bobby Brown for her ruin, forgetting that he in this moment is in deep grief and pain. The
poor man received the news of her former wife’s death just before he got on stage in Memphis and
he broke down missing the first song. He got on stage for the second song and shouted “I love you
Whitney. The hardest thing for me to do is to come on this stage.” He then blew a kiss to the sky with
visibly teary eyes. That is clearly a man in pain right now and we are still fighting him. I bet we are
going to do this until he dies, then we will shower his death with sweet nothings.

It’s sad, really sad that this is the world we have decided to make and live in. Let’s love one another
and let LOVE be our torch. A light has been deemed and I extend my deepest condolence to her
family, friends, fans and all who have been touched by her life and everything.

REST IN PEACE WHITNEY, YOU FOUGHT A VERY HARD WAR AND RAN A VERY HARD

RACE, IN A VERY GOOD WAY.

RE-UNION WITH MY FIRST LOVE(est)

Everyone has been asking why i dont really have a chick,and every chick suspects that i probably have one or two that are dear to me.The truth however is,all girls are dear to me,and im yet to find the dearest.

Everyone has been speculating,always asking how our love life is progressing and everytime i answer they die a little more inside,because my answer is never the expected.The truth is,i had ditched her for a while,or maybe long (11hours a day to be precise) to do other things.She knows it and she hates it,i hate it too.Shes been crying since i left because i didnt really want to,but i had to because she was not able to sustain and keep me as hers alone.This was because we were,and are still very young together.I realised her long ago even before i hit my puberty.That was 8 years ago and this July will make it 9.

When i first encountered her in 2003,it ws acool Sunday morning and i loved her despite the fact that she didnt know me and it wasnt  a slight bother to her.We within a few minutes bonded and vowed to be together until the very end.Since then its been very hard,infact the first few months after that were brutal.We faced tarbulents,hurricanes and tornados.But a few times we've also slept in beds of rosses and tossed glasses of expensive wines at high places and palaces.

I MET HER A FEW DAYS AGO AND THIS IS HOW IT WENT;

Seeing her now almost killed me because when i left she was fine,so i never bothered to say goodbye because i believed she would always be a piece of my heart.I had missed her so terribly that i i at times felt her ooze out of my system into the thin air.She sat there,and i sat right there before her.We were facing each other liked we had done in 2003 when we did our secret silent and sacred exchange of vows in a hall full of fools singing and dancing to a totally different occasion.But today we looked like two antagonising forces in a court of law...spirits were low.Then tears started poring down her face like two mercury falls.I felt a hard potato force its way down my throat then my hair stood up.Straight.My ear lobes were shaking like an elephant's in the Mara plains.The room situation was hot.I sai i was sorry then i looked down.She asked me what i had been doing and at that moment i wanted to take a gun and shoot life out of my empty shell of a head like Itere's boys shooting suspected terror squads,because if it had anything,it would have stopped me from doing what i had done.That was the only ultimate way i thought i could show my regret,then we would meet in the next world,punished and forgiven but in this world forgotten.

The reason i couldnt answer her was because i had promised to do her alone,and other arts like writing and drawing if she allowed,so Other Things was not an anwer i was going to give her.I said i was really sorry and regreted every single second i spent away from her.I told her i was ready to let go of every other thing i was doing and be her slave only.She makes me happy and thats what is crucial in my life.But i still told her of my my dreams,once again.I mentioned a nice house that she would be occupying each and every room of including the toilets.I told her about nice clothes,a king size bed,a big car,good food and my younger brothers' education.I mentioned my general security and my old parents who needed my support.Then i reminded her that i needed her first.

My Dear First Love stood up and hugged me,it was the best hug i've ever had all my life.It was a forgiving,comforting and an assuring hug.She told me it was alright,that i was free,for it was fine and good for me to to chase my dreamsBut now,i didn't have to do it alone,but with and through her.She said if i worked smart and just a little bit hard,we would last forever with all my dreams having come true.So i quit all my every other thing i was doing and started to do her right away from where i had stopped.I also re-newed our old covenant,not to do any other thing but her alone.

I WILL ALWAYS DO YOU MUSIC.

Jerk Of All Trades: THIS IS WAR

Jerk Of All Trades: THIS IS WAR: We all have an idea of how life begun, from the creation story to t...

THIS IS WAR

                                                                        

We all have an idea of how life begun, from the creation story to the big bang theory. Different myths have different versions too like the swollen knee that burst to produce the first man and woman. The Maasai believe that God came to give them cows but left with some. They jumped to try and snatch that one cow as God went back into the heavens but He was too fast leaving them to jump for the rest of their lives hoping to get that cow someday. But the hopeless jumping later became very crucial in their      lives because today they jump over the lion when it charges towards them and to impress the ladies. The highest jumper gets the prettiest girl. Normally, when a child is born, he is slapped a little to cry so that he can breathe. In some cultures, the child is given both bitter and sweet foods to introduce him/her to the world of good and bad situations that they are going to face.

This is not to remind you about Darwin theories and stuff like that because I know you probably failed them in high school. The point is that EVERY EXISTANCE IS WAR.

The universe is only held together by (for lack of a better word) antagonizing forces that keep us alive. The day the sun will decide to keep its heat to itself, the moon, being as gay as it looks compared to the sun will cease to own the night. The earth and other planets will probably fall and roll like marbles on the floor bumping into one another, causing the greatest of floods, hurricanes and tsunamis when lakes, oceans and seas get turned upside down. There will also be a great fire caused by the friction as the earth rushes through the toxic gases of space at a speed greater than that of light. I don’t know what more will happen but there will be more trouble when our planet hits another planet for example Mars. Maybe people will fall off and with such speeds; it will only take 30 seconds for flesh to turn into ashes.

Forget about that, let’s talk about people. We are constantly fighting and there are many types of war that would stretch up to two miles if I listed them on tissue paper. The craziest thing about it is that they can be sort out just like that. Most wars including world wars are personal wars that people can simply sit or lie down and finish. Think about this, global warming is threatening our existence right now and a lot of resources are spent on trying to create awareness and clear all the mess we have, and continue to create yet it’s such a simple thing to do. That guy carelessly cutting trees only knows too well that when he cuts a tree, there will never be another tree unless he plants it. We already have laws that if we live by and let our common senses guide us, global warming will be a minor worry.

Think about a father who forces his son to be what he doesn’t want to be. It’s a serious matter that can break a family because the son can run away or the father can even disown his son. There are only three reasons why he is doing so and I’m going to look at each one of them below:-

(i)He wants to fulfill in his son a dream that he was never fulfilled himself

(ii)He is an achiever so he wants his son to be just like him

(iii)He is carrying on a family tradition or reputation

Father (i) is fighting in himself because he is bitter for not living to his dream. The thought of being a loser in that one thing is what his ego won’t stand and that’s the fight he is fighting in himself but it spills to his innocent son. He has a right of ownership over his son so he wants to see in him what he never was. He forgets that just like he had a dream as a child, his son is at that stage and has his own dreams as well. Father (ii) is fighting with pride. He is concerned about what people will say if his son doesn’t end up like him and he is scared of being called less successful as a father. He forgets that his son will only be happy and proud if he also achieves what he really wants to achieve.  Father (iii) is fighting a fight he fought and lost or never fought at all. He forgets that family reputation can be good and admirable but what really matters is personal choice and happiness. The best thing a parent can ever do to a child is give advice and support. There are many kids from adorable families whose dreams are just to have different lives, think about it.

Think about that holier than thou guy who is always on your case because you wear jeans and t-shirt to church, you pierced your ears or because you have dreads or anything like that. Think about a Muslim who has to wake up at 5am everyday to pray and keep praying at set times until the day ends. Consider that teacher or accountant or a civil servant who has to dress in a certain way and work every day from 8am to 5pm for all their working lives. Think about yourself, the times you have to wake up, things you have to do every day whether you like them or not. That’s what life sometimes gives us. So we go out there and fight because we are already heavily battling deep within ourselves. World wars, religious and tribal wars happen because someone somewhere has a war in them so they instigated those feelings in many other people then they find a party that is not like them to fight with.

That holier than thou guy is fighting the lack of freedom to just be himself, I mean, God never created suits, neither does the bible say that wear suits to church if it even mentions suits at all. Jihad is not war against non believers but war against the strict rules of religion that a Muslim brother has to go through to remain pure in the eyes of Allah. That old guy is not against your earrings, but against the thought that he would have loved to be free like you when he was young, or even now but the situations he is in cannot allow him. Sometimes the police and all those workers in banks, hospitals and offices are never mean because they like it. It’s the fight against slavery to the system. So people fight internal wars that can be solved just internally but because of some reasons, they are fanned and passed over to other people also busy fighting theirs!

So my people, I call you to duty. Take your amours and shields, swords, helmets and breast plates and go to war. Our arsenal is our minds and our weapons are truth, justice, pride, confidence, tolerance and love. My advice to you is that you must know that in this life, what matters is happiness. Do what you have to do to take you to where you want to be. Children should be guided until the end of high school then be left to decide. If you want to be rich, then make the wealth in your own way as long as you don’t hurt anyone. Make your decisions and let others make theirs. Be and let others be. Choose what’s good for you because at the end of the day, it’s only you.