KENYANS ARE RACISTS AND INFERIOR

IF YOU WANT TO GET FAST AND FIRST SERVICE ANYWHERE IN KENYA, POTRAY YOURSELF AS RICH AND MORE POWERFUL.  That’s a rule that even the most defiant folks in Kenya know,especially in the larger towns. It’s a battle ground and people fight both physically and mentaly because the law is a pyramid that applies less only to the few and powerful on the top and more to the many and weak on the bottom. Thats the unwritten interpretation and only rebels like me don’t give a dung about it and would show the middle toe to anyone that bows to such.

Take the following examples of my personal stories that im sure you have your own versions of, or have heard from someone else.

Being a citizen of the world, I consider myself a good neigbour by having friends from all parts of the world. I welcome them home and take them to see my beatiful country. My friends come from all walks of life. So I take them to all manner of places: From places of worship to brothels. Cheap ones in River Road to extravagant ones in leafy subarbs. So this one night, I wanted to thrill my friends by doing what young Nairobians do-CLUB HOPPING. So after SkyLux, we went to Changes then to Rezorus where the bouncers pushed me down the staircase because I was only 21 when the permitted age limit was 24. They told me to pave way for customers, who were actually my mzungu friends lining behind me. Realising that I was leaving with them, the bouncers came begging me to just get in, I called them bloody f****n racists and took my guests to Havannah!

Another incident was at BREW BISTROW . This partucular night, my enturage comprrised a 17 year old white girl and her older relatives. The bouncer let her in, but said I was too young to get in, realising I was with them, I was let in, in a huff. We left soon after and the Bavarians didn’t like the incident just like the beer.

Yesterday I decided to take some friends up to the helipad on top of the KICC. We had passed by Tuskeys and one of my friends had bought a knife, a decent sized shinny knife with black plastic handle. The security guys with their metal detectors didn’t detect anyting metalic or dangerous in her bag. We proceeded to the main entrance to the second tallest building in the country that also hosts a whole ministerial office. At the door, there was one of those huge security machines that swallows your bag then vommits it again on the other side. My mzungu friend put her bag with the knife and it got safely swallowed and she picked it on the other side. I put mine wich had just clothes, drumsticks, a shaker and a harmonica and it went through without making any of that irritating noise it makes. However; the mean BM SECURITY LADY insisted on manually inspecting my bag again, just because im Kenya! I complied and she stirred my belongings in the bag as the mzungu ladies waited for me. She finished and we took the knife with us past a few other security checks to the top of the city! So next time you hear that a bomb was planted or a businessman shot at the Intercontinental lobby from the top of KICC, just know that a non black person safely and unsuspectedly took the gun there as the security personel watched.

In January, I was in Lake Nakuru National Park and I decided to stop for a cold drink at Lake Nakuru Lodge. It was lunch time when I got there and I was walking behind some French speaking black guys. As they got into the buffet area, there was a man chanting jambo! Jambo! to everyone that came in. As he said jambo to me, I said jambo sana, mambo vipi? Believe me you, I was pulled aside and asked for my room number! I protested and ended up cudddliing my cold bottle at the pool with an an old Chinese couple.

When I turned 18, I wanted an ID and the nearest place of application was the District Comissioner´s office in Kibera. Aware of the long qeues and being so streetwise, I decided to go on the first of January when people are still cleaning their holiday mess. But even on that day, I got quite a crowd. The crowd comprised some of middle class citizens with cars and so feel like the poor folks are after their blood; they drove their very young adult children to apply for their Ids. Then there were humble folks that had lost theirs on drinking sprees or mugging attacks, then there were people like me, young independent citizens that wanted to get a hold of that thing and face the world! I think you already know what happened but I will tell you either way. The driving guys got served almost entirely first and swiftly, followed by me probably because I didn’t look like I came from the slums around there, and maybe because I had spoken English to the receptionist seated under a tree.

Its not right that we are racists and its extremely sad that we are discriminating against our own. We must learn to see ourselves as equal, or even better than them in order gain respect and even to succeed. I know some people mistreat locals trying to impress the foreigners because they think that that way they attract something nice. The truth is, you attract shame on yourself and your country and you repel that same gift you think you are attracting.

And to those rude security guys who ravage through my bags, better learn how to use those machines now because im devicing a disciplinary machine that will splash some acid in your shameless eyes and you will not see for some time if not for the rest of your lives.

IM OUT!